Get to know The Parenting Couch co-host, Rachel Chappell

Meet Rachel Chappell, co-host of The Parenting Couch podcast. Rachel lives on Sydney's upper north shore with her husband and three daughters (aged 7, 10 & 12). She started North Shore Mums Facebook group in 2012, when she moved to the area with lots of questions, but not many local friends to ask. A year later, she decided to take the Facebook group to the next level by launching the North Shore Mums website.

In this episode, Rachel shares the story about how North Shore Mums was created... as well as how she juggles work and family, dealing with sibling rivalry and the transition from primary school to Year 7.

FIND OUT MORE: 

• Visit the North Shore Mums website
• Follow North Shore Mums on Facebook
• Follow North Shore Mums on Instagram

#theparentingcouch #theparentingcouchpodcast #parenting #northshoremums #parentingexperts #parentinginterviews

Transcript

Unknown Speaker  0:02  
Welcome to The Parenting couch with Rachael Chappell and Sarah Levett honest conversations about what parenting is really like, because let's be real, it can be hard, proudly brought to you by North Shore moms.com Right here.

Unknown Speaker  0:19  
Hi, and welcome to The Parenting couch podcast. This is our first episode as a brand new podcast with Rachael Chappell and myself, Sarah Levett. It's really exciting actually, because it's headed in a new direction, which I mentioned that it would be, and this is it, this is the beginning of the new direction. And what we thought we'd do. And this was Rachel's great idea actually, was to just introduce ourselves by starting off and talking a bit about ourselves. And so you can get to know us and take it from there. And so, first of all, very excited to have you onboard Rachel, and welcome to our first episode of the parenting couch this way,

Unknown Speaker  0:58  
it's very, very exciting. Thank you for approaching me with the idea about joining forces and doing a podcast, it's been something that has been on my to do list for a very long time. And it's been it's just been so big, and I'm like, I don't know, technically and stuff. But I think, you know, working with us together, you've got so much experience in radio and producing podcasts that, you know, I've got the marketing skills with North Shore mums to help bring it to the audience. So you know, let's, let's give it a go. Let's work together and see how it goes.

Unknown Speaker  1:33  
I love it. I love your attitude. And I think proper introduction, though, is Rachel, as she just mentioned, then North Shore mums is her baby that's turning 10 Actually not such a baby anymore. It's growing up into a teenager now is a tween. I think it's a good place to start. And as you just mentioned, you have a marketing background. And that's sort of how you ended up taking personal life, mixing it with your business skills and for this incredible business that you've grown, which is incredibly successful. So let's talk about that. First, tell me how it all began. For you. With North Shore

Unknown Speaker  2:12  
Mark. Hey, let's let's take a look back 10 years ago, when I had a four month old baby and a toddler, and we had previously been living on the northern beaches, and we wanted to move to the North Shore, we wanted to have a house, we wanted to have a garden. So we made the move. But I didn't know anyone on the North Shore. So we arrived and I didn't I'd actually spent some time living on the north shore before I'd flatmate and for a few years in Waverton, I've lived with my family and Gordon, but I've never been a mom on the North Shore. So it was a completely different experience going back. You know, all of a sudden, I needed to know where the playgrounds where I needed to know where the playgrounds where there had coffee nearby, I needed to get recommendations for a good family doctor, all those questions that you have, as a new mom or a parent at any stage. But there was literally nothing at that point that existed that connected moms, there was nothing, there was no way of me reaching out to other moms. I literally just thought to myself, I'm just gonna start a Facebook group. So there was no business idea behind it at all. At that stage, it was just, I need to connect with other local mums. So I'm going to create a Facebook group. And clearly there was a big, big need for that in the market at the moment, because there was probably a lot of other mums feeling the same way. So the group did grow very quickly, organically. I didn't have to do much to promote it. It just friends. Were adding friends join Northshore moms, and it grew quickly. And it's always grown, you know, just through word of mouth, really. And yeah, over the years, it's grown to what it is today in the Facebook group. We've got 37,000 members now, using pretty much all let you know their local mums who either work live or play on the North Shore. So they've got a strong association. There's mums that have been there since the very, very beginning. A lot of us when we started, we all had babies and toddlers. Those, you know, started early on have grown themselves and their kids have grown up. So a lot of us have tweens and teens now, but there's still obviously the new mums coming through as well with who are pregnant trying to conceive or having their first baby as well. So it really does cover the whole parenting spectrum. And yeah, it's just a really wonderful, positive, happy, supportive place for mums to get advice and you know, from other local mums, so it's a it's a wonderful spot and I'm very proud of it.

Unknown Speaker  4:48  
You should be very proud of it because it comes from a good place. You know what I mean? Like it wasn't an intention to make money ahead. That was a byproduct of an idea you had that was a genuine need. I I was on there when my daughter was born 2013. So I remember, that's how I discovered you along the way was being on there and reading people's posts, and I'm posting my own things with a newborn baby. And he's sitting around eating four o'clock in the morning. And also just like, Oh, my God, what am I doing? And like you say, I mean, it's incredible, isn't it, how we are supposed to sort of be in communities, you know what I mean, from where we come from, but we we end up especially in Sydney, I think end up in these sort of every man for himself kind of vibe, and lose that sense of community and connection, what you've done in that respect, and I'm sure people are on the fringe as well as the North Shore on there, and maybe other people from around the world that aren't even on the North Shore, or that aren't even because it's helpful anyway, a lot of it's got nothing to do with the north at all, it's just an hour.

Unknown Speaker  5:53  
Or so I said, a lot of people do live on the North Shore, or they may have lived on the North Shore, and they've moved away, but they've still really found the community useful. Or they may have parents that live on the North Shore. So they're always coming to the North Shore. So it's, you know, we will say if you work, live or play, you know, there's a reason for you having an association with Sydney's North Shore, then, yeah, join on up.

Unknown Speaker  6:16  
Yeah. And then. So then it expanded and you have a website, it's part of that as well. It grew, it kept growing. How did that then yeah.

Unknown Speaker  6:25  
So I guess a few months into launching the Facebook group, when I'd sort of come slightly out of the sleep deprived stage, I saw very quickly that there was potential for it to be a business. And my background is actually I worked in magazines for many years as a marketing manager. So I thought, well, maybe I can try and turn this into a website, and use a lot of the posts and stuff that we were seeing in the group were coming up quite a lot. So I was thinking if we can use some of the content and the ideas from the Facebook group to see what mums are really wanting to know the answers to, you know, whether they're looking for a you know, to take their kids to akindi Farm near Sydney, Sydney off near that, you know, the north of north north shore, let's do an article on that. So rather than than just being a post that disappears down the page, we've actually got an article that's on our website that lists seven nearby farms that you can take your kids to. So and you know, another big thing of the group was people asking for recommendations. So family photographers, kids classes, chiropractors, whatever, you know, sleep consultants, of course, save baby first aid courses, all those questions that mums want the services to, they wanted to get recommendations for that. So there was obviously a need for some kind of centralized spot, those services. So a directory became a really important part of our website where, you know, businesses can sign up and have a have a page for their website. And, you know, members can leave reviews. So it's their long term, and you don't need to go searching for it or asking you posts all the time, I started the website by myself, well, I had a little bit of help from a girl just with kind of setting it up. She was an offshore mum. But I managed to help launch a basic website to myself by myself, which I was pretty happy with. And

Unknown Speaker  8:22  
10 years ago, when things weren't the same with that sort of stuff, remembering Yeah, so that wasn't as straightforward as things go days now where you can just go on there and build this in quite easily right. building websites for dummies. Now you did all of this. You said you started when you had two kids, you've gone on to have a third and you have a husband and you have a dog. So how do you juggle? I forget the goal of that.

Unknown Speaker  8:51  
Well, I guess sometimes I juggle it very well. And sometimes I don't so. So I guess we just do the best we can. It's yeah, I mean, it is very, very busy. And I know that's such a cliche work, everyone is busy. And we're all juggling a million things. So, you know, there's nothing particularly different about my life. But yeah, it is it is busy with the three kids and getting them out the door every day and to school. And then in the afternoon, juggling all the after school activities. They're all lots of things on so for me, my main working day is between school hours, five days a week, but previous to you know, my kids, my youngest started school last year. So before that she was at childcare three days a week. So I had three longer days where I could work and then two days that I had her so I mean it's always a juggle. So now I just have to resign myself to that nine to three is kind of the best time for me to work and you know, nighttimes as well. When when things are really busy and just fitting fitting it in where you can but yeah, I mean it's a constant juggle, I guess Is the whole working from home as many courts have probably found, you know, since COVID, and stuff and working from home has become so much more prevalent, it's really tricky to put in the guidelines. Work infiltrating your personal life and all that kind of stuff. So,

Unknown Speaker  10:17  
of course, and I think it's a challenging thing, because I think yeah, for you, nevermind COVID I mean, obviously, that you were already working from home. So you had set up ready for that, but just for you generally, like, how would it have been had you kept a high, strong powerful position in marketing or whatever, and had to do that every day, five days a week with three children, etc, etc, like, so whilst pros and cons to everything? Because yeah, you know, you have a steady income, of course, then, and you, but you have two kids would have had to go to daycare? Yes. I mean, how would that have looked? Yeah, if you'd stayed doing that?

Unknown Speaker  10:53  
Yeah, I mean, that's, that's the one amazing thing about running your own business is that you do have that flexibility. You can wind things up as you want to, and, you know, bring it back down if you need to, as well. You don't have to request time off from the boss, if something goes wrong. If you don't go back, and that's that is stressful, or even just things like asking for annual leave, or please gonna, you know, it's, it's, it's hard, or you know, you want to go to your child's doing assembly that week, and you want to watch them, you know, running your own business. And just having that flexibility is so wonderful. And I'm so grateful that I do have that opportunity to, to do that to, you know, to run a business that brings in a good income and employ some, you know, other local mums. And yeah, amazing, exactly the same flexibility. As long as they get the work done. That's fine by me. I don't care when they do it.

Unknown Speaker  11:48  
Now, let's let's talk about if you don't mind talking about your husband, and how you do and how long you've been together and married and everything.

Unknown Speaker  11:58  
Yeah, my husband likes to be the invisible husband. But whenever I'm doing Instagram posts or Facebook posts, he's not in any of them. But this isn't a visual medium is it? So I can tell you. We've been married since 2008. He's a POM we actually met. When we were both working in magazines. I was working in the marketing department. He was working in the art department of a big selling men's magazine, which is now folded if hm. And we just met on Friday night, Friday night drinks. After work, everyone went for drinks. And I always had a thing for men with English accents. So we just hit it off. And yeah, just went from there. We dated for about a year, then we moved in, together, live together for a couple of years. And he popped the question, and then your celebrity got married. So

Unknown Speaker  13:03  
now I'd say work from home as well. Or as he go to an office,

Unknown Speaker  13:06  
you know, with COVID and stuff, they're gradually moving their way back into the office now. So he will go in probably a couple of days a week. So he's in the city, but there's just so much more flexibility. Now, I just think if you can have that balance a little bit more like he loves going into the work. But if he, you know, wants to work from home once or twice a week, then you know, fantastic. And as he was saying, like, the wonderful thing to kind of that COVID Is that he actually feels connected with the kids lives like, normally, he never would have done a school drop off or a school pick up or have any idea about who the teachers are, because he might pop in once a year for the end of year showcase or anything like that. So it's just so out of touch with their day to day lives, because he'd be leaving at 730 in the morning, not getting home till probably 637 At night, and just be so out of touch with old school activities and what they're doing and stuff. Whereas now, he has a much better understanding. And also it's a lot better, more help for me, because I'm not always doing everything. So that's been a really good thing for him to be able to just kind of connect a bit more with with the kids and

Unknown Speaker  14:12  
which is so lovely. And I think a lot of people will have experienced that. And maybe it means that everything's a bit more shared now, you know, unless falling to one parent to carry

Unknown Speaker  14:24  
that lovers. Yeah, yeah,

Unknown Speaker  14:27  
it's a bone size. And

Unknown Speaker  14:29  
then I mean, that's been

Unknown Speaker  14:31  
I mean, look at the Insight where you got into teachers and what teachers go through with Yeah, no, absolutely. We had a little bit of a taster.

Unknown Speaker  14:39  
Absolutely. And just an amazing appreciation for the teachers and just the whole school that, you know, educates your child and gives them that socialization and, you know, like, just that, you know, otherwise it's I can't take the kids to school today. But now it's like, wow, we actually get to take our child Turn to school today. Like it's so good. You know, and they're happier as

Unknown Speaker  15:03  
well. Who have three daughters? Yes,

Unknown Speaker  15:07  
yes. So ones just started high school this year, she started gear seven. Yep. I've got another one in year five. And then I've got another one in year one. Yep. Last year, they were all at primary school, the same primary local primary, which was nice and convenient for when they were at school. And then yeah, this year, the other one's gone off and is getting public transport to school every day. And all of a sudden, there's a little independent young woman and wow, yeah, it's amazing, actually, it's a huge transition. I was kind of saying to a friend the other day, like when you when they start kindy, it's a it is a massive thing. Because you know, your little ones going off to kindergarten, but they're not as aware of the changes that are going on in their life, it's like, it's a more of a big deal to you as a parent, whereas when they are leaving primary and starting your seven, there's so much anxiety and excitement and stress around leaving primary school and leaving that sort of comforting, nurturing environment where they've been for so many years, and they've established such wonderful friendships. And all of a sudden, everyone's going off in different directions. So it was a very emotional time last year for my daughter. You know, she was going to different schools to a lot of her best friends. So that was particularly hard as well for her. So yes, it was kind of the leaving primary, and then the starting of year seven, and getting to school each day. And there's a few more logistics that you've got to organize and stuff. But for us, I mean, she's flourished, she's loving High School, settled in really, really well and making new friends. So it's a relief now now it's happened, it's a relief. It's happened and

Unknown Speaker  16:58  
like, even though they're ready, and they're capable, and and you've obviously yesterday base, but I think it still must feel a bit like that first day or first week we're gonna be anxiety provoking.

Unknown Speaker  17:10  
I mean, one of the really things that really helped me was an app called Life 360. So I can see where she is, at any time. So I'll get a little notification when she arrives at school, and I'll get a notification when she leaves school. And then I can see where she is. Oh, look, I can just open it up and say oh, she's at the station now. And I can sort of see all she's moving so she must be on the train now. Do you know what I mean? So mine because I think she also likes knowing that I think for her so she feels reassured that she knows that I know as well. Do you know what I mean? Enough? No, there's no stress on her to go I've got a text mum that I arrived at school safely. I just got an alert so she's she can just get on with her day.

Unknown Speaker  17:55  
Fantastic. What a great piece of technology that is for parents. I mean really is you know, this stuff is you know, we struggle a bit with with technology, but that's one of those really positive things advances that we have now, which is absolutely everyone like you say not just for you. But for your daughter does still feel connected to you because it's scary for her too.

Unknown Speaker  18:18  
Yeah, exactly. She wants to be independent. She also is still only you know, 12 years old and right. My little girl so you just you know that like I said spot hold the whole parenthood thing is isn't it? They're just there's always different and new challenges the older they get. Yes, it's interesting.

Unknown Speaker  18:39  
Yeah, I think parenting I always say to people, it's at every juncture there's all these rewards and all these challenges all at the same time. It's so I've thought it's been all along I guess for you though when you have three I only have one but I think now the next High School one will probably be is it a bit easier like when you first had gone to school? The second one was easier. Is that not true? I don't know. Because I don't know that experience.

Unknown Speaker  19:02  
Yeah, I imagine it will be I think with everything your your eldest is probably the first one for them and it's the first one for you. Whereas the second one, you know, even the decision of what what school to send them to was really hard but now we've got one at this particular school. Very, very happy there. I'm sure we'll send the other two girls there as well. So yeah, yeah, so it's you're not having that same level of what her schoolwork you know, and she knows the my year five knows where she's probably going as well. So that's makes it easier for her. So I feel like it should be easier with the other two as they go on. But who knows there could be completely different kids and

Unknown Speaker  19:46  
Well, I'm sure you see already that they're different now because yeah, yeah, you've got one that's just started schools, the youngest and so therefore, really starting to have personalities shine on through. How do they all get along with Where am I? What's the dynamic like between them?

Unknown Speaker  20:08  
They're all look, they Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of fighting that goes on, particularly, but to my youngest is extremely strong wheels in like, she's, she's so determined. So she often picks on. Her name's Ella. So she's for the seven, seven year old. And then she'll often pick on Zara who's 10, the new five, it's and then she'll, and they just get into these fights. And I don't even know what they're about. Someone's hit someone or you know, and it's just, I'm just, I've just got to the point where I'm like, I'm just trying to ignore it, because I'm sure it only happens when I'm around. So, like, I'm not choosing a site. You can sort it out amongst yourselves unless someone's like bleeding or you know, it's always like who's who's in the wrong but she started a no, she started and I actually don't care who started it. You need to stop it now. And I'm just it's, it's tricky, but I feel like it's probably just an age thing as well. Like, I feel like as my youngest gets a little bit older, that hopefully, will peter out a bit. Because the two eldest ones, they find that they argue a little bit sometimes, but it's it's not so bad at all. But

Unknown Speaker  21:30  
yeah, probably not as physical. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm not meaning to be sexist. But of course, I've seen boy siblings, like they are rough with each other. The other day, I witnessed one punching another their brother in the back like hard like, oh, wow, distance. Oh, my God. Oh, god. Wow. I was kind of shocked for quite some time because I didn't have siblings be my daughter doesn't so I don't deal with any so frantic. But I hadn't really thought about what goes on for girls. Because yeah, I mean, they still need to get it out. My daughter wants to wrestle me at times, which is part of development, obviously, like they do need some physical. But yeah, I wasn't sure how that rolls with girls as much.

Unknown Speaker  22:16  
Yeah, I mean, it's not amazingly physical. It might just be a flap here or, you know, a pinch. They're not like full hour wrestling or punching or kicking. There's none of that. Right. It's probably more verbal, to be honest, and sort of mind games. It's so fun. Yeah. Anyway, that's, that's probably the hardest thing I find is the is the sibling rivalry and trying to sort out to make things a bit more harmonious.

Unknown Speaker  22:48  
Yeah, and as you say, once the younger ones emotional regulation settles down as well. And you know, just it's just normal at that age still have a struggle to contain themselves. Exactly. Like yeah, as you know, at least you think one, then you know what's coming with all the next stages, right? It's all right, because when they get to this age, it'll be Yeah, or x. Yeah, be easier. Whereas the first time around is, you know, you just don't know, like, you think what is this gonna go?

Unknown Speaker  23:20  
Exactly, exactly. And then gradually, it peters out, and it fades and it doesn't happen anymore. And then you can't even when you look back on it, you can't even really remember it happening where you can be like, I can't really remember where you were, like, were you as bad at that age. And you know, you just kind of you're on to the next thing by that stage. So you kind of have got behind you and you're on to the next challenge.

Unknown Speaker  23:41  
Right? Because there's no time is that you don't have time to stop down and much of that reflection, especially once you add more kids into the mix, you know, like Yeah, yeah, it just would be so busy. It's been lovely to start getting to know you and for everyone else as well. And next episode is going to flip flip the switch flip around and Rachel is going to ask me some questions so we'll get to know Sarah and we're talking about yourself and I Sarah on gas as well. There is a theory for tuning in to the burning couch and we are on all the socials. So you can go there please like, share and we'd love you to review of course that always helps keeps us in the game as well. Thanks for tuning in. Bye bye

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